Parents Spill Blood on Sport's Day

I always thought it was safe to say that America is the most overwhelmingly competitive, cut throat country, but after Sport’s Day here I think we might have some worthy competitors in the form of the Italians. All classes were divided into four teams—Dante, Donatello, Giotto, and Gallileo—and competed in about ten activities ranging from sack races, sprint races, relay races to obstacle courses, football shoots, and balancing contests in which parents could come and watch. To say the children were passionate and competitive would be an understatement. After the very first station, I had to comfort a sobbing student who had come in second in the sprint race. That was nothing compared to the parents however. I could barely explain directions at each station over the loud chanting and picture taking. The parents had no qualms darting right in front of me to get a shot of their son or daughter. After all, he or she very well may be the next David Beckham, right? Not only that, but they were also out for blood. I had a parent sulk at me when a student started a race a second before the others, and I did nothing at this clearly unjust usurp of the rules. I wanted to remind him of the fact that these were seven-year-olds and that it wasn’t the World Cup, but I stayed calm and collective like the good little teacher I’m supposed to be. However, it grew harder to hold my tongue as the day continued especially when one of the parents blatantly leaned over my shoulder to double check my math work as I tallied the points. I figured stabbing him with my pen probably wouldn’t have strengthened American foreign relations though. Nonetheless, it was still hard to fight the urge.


At the end of Sport’s Day, there was both a sprint race for the mothers and the fathers. It was hilarious to watch the mothers kick off the diamond studded shoes and amble onto the starting line where they continued to elbow and box each other out for a better starting spot while sporting their Prada and Louie Vaton dresses—the perfect sports attire after all. When the whistle blew, these women ran while savagely pushing and shoving each other as if they were racing toward the very last pair of Jimmy Choos in the entire world I truly wish I had a video camera. When the fathers swaggered onto the track, they actually did some stretching before lining themselves up at the starting line. The race was quickly finished after one father took a hard fall at the finish line and skidded a good four feet on his back across the line to lose the lead and finish second. He scratched up his left elbow pretty bad, but couldn’t be bothered by it as he double checked that he actually didn’t come in first. The other teachers informed me that the parent races are always the most entertaining and that only last year there was a three man collision during the race. On that note, I’d like to personally thank you mom and dad for never embarrassing me in such a way while at school.